Smuggler's Box

10 BAGS OF CONTRABAND. ZERO SELF-CONTROL. VIXEN-SANCTIONED CHAOS.

WHAT’S INSIDE

10 x Assorted Freeze-Dried Candy Bags
A reckless lineup from the Supernova vault: overpowered flavour, violent crunch, zero chill. Exact contents rotate. Consistency is for grocery store candy.

1 x Alien Artifact
Absolutely unnecessary. Spiritually vital. Legally ambiguous. Might be a relic. Might be a warning. You’ll keep it either way.

CHOOSE YOUR DAMAGE

You don’t pick “flavours.” You pick the offense.

1. Original Offense – All your favourites in one stash. Sweet, shameless, dangerously delicious. The gateway contraband. You swear you’ll share. You won’t.
2. Acid Interface – Your favourites laced with our feral sour lineup. Voltage-level tart, brain-scrambling, face-melting. Built for the delightfully unhinged.
3. Dealer’s Choice – Full chaos. A random mix of whatever the Vixens grab first. Candy roulette for the unstable and overconfident.

RECOMMENDED MISUSE

Deploy for:

• Chaos care packages & “I went too far on purpose” gifts
• Emotional leverage, petty power moves, snack-based extortion
• Movie nights, game nights, con weekends, questionable road trips
• Stockpiling like the world’s ending—or like you’re planning a new one

Side effects may include hoarding, hiding, gatekeeping, unhinged attachment, and permanent disgust for basic earthbound candy.

THIS IS NOT A CUTE VARIETY PACK.

This is a logistics failure, a moral hazard, and a direct attack on basic candy.

The Smuggler’s Box is a fully weaponized cache of banned-on-Earth freeze-dried candy: blackout-level crunch, violent flavour, rotating mystery drops, and one classified alien artifact jammed in purely to escalate the situation.

If the government, your dentist, or your conscience asks—this never happened.

Designed for unhinged cravings, feral gifting, shameless bribery, and late-night “touch this and you’ll die” energy.